All for Connor: The Lone Wolf Defenders Book 3 Read online

  “We’ll find another way.” Connor remained still. He didn’t give a shit about his birth family. As far as he was concerned, Archie was his family. Killian, Quinn, and Meredith were his family. He didn’t need to know anything else, except the identity of the man who had forced him to become a monster.

  “Why don’t you really want to know about them?” Quinn asked. “Are you afraid?”

  "Fuck you, Quinn," he said, uncrossing his arms. He stepped forward, pulling up to his full height, so he towered over his brother.

  “Fuck you too, Connor,” Quinn said, not backing down. “Don’t you get tired of this tough guy bullshit?”

  “Connor, Quinn,” Killian warned. “Stand—”

  “I need to talk to you,” Meredith said as she walked into the reception area.

  Connor turned to his sister. “What?” He had never lost his temper with Meredith, but, tonight, he had come close today. It was something he never wanted to happen again.

  “Evie. What did you do to her?”

  All right, he was confused now. He thought Meredith was going to rip him a new one for cutting her off back in Killian’s office. "I didn't do anything to her."

  Quinn snickered, and even Killian rolled his eyes.

  “We all know what you did,” Meredith said, tapping a finger on her nose. “We must have interrupted you guys.”

  “No wonder you sounded more uptight than usual when you answered your phone,” Quinn said with a laugh.

  “Fuck you, I—”

  "Connor, for once, shut up and listen to me," Meredith said. Connor closed his mouth. "I'm not talking about the sex. That's all good, and we're all adults here. But you sent her packing afterward?"

  “What?” Quinn and Killian said at the same time.

  Meredith shot her brothers a knowing look. “I know, right?”

  “I didn’t—” Oh fuck. That’s exactly what he had done. Three pairs of eyes looked at him, waiting for an explanation, but he didn’t know what to say. “It wasn’t safe.”

  “I’m sure you had your own fucked-up reasons why you sent her away.”

  “I took her home. Made sure she was safe.”

  “Uh huh. That’s something you do with a friend, not a lover,” Meredith said with an exasperated sigh, then looked at her brothers. “Guys? A little help?”

  “Connor,” Killian began. “I know you’ve never had a relationship, but, if you care for a girl—and I assume you do with Evie—you should do things with her after the sex.”

  “What? Like cuddling and shit?”

  Quinn laughed. "Yeah, cuddling and shit. Chicks dig that kind of thing. You only ever kick a girl out of bed if you're a selfish bastard, like I was before I met Selena."

  “But we weren’t in a bed,” Connor pointed out. “We were—never mind.” Quinn was right. He messed things up. That’s why Evie had been acting all weird when he took her home last night. “I was doing it for her own good. I can’t trust myself to be alone with her. Not with my wolf. You know I’ve never had the best control.”

  “Wait, what are you talking about?” Meredith asked with narrowed eyes.

  “I … you know it’s always been a problem for me, shifting back. But it’s been getting worse.”

  “Since when?” Meredith asked.

  “Since Archie died.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn’t tell them what he was planning. They were already involved too much. “Look, it’s not important. I obviously made a mistake with Evie—Oww! What the fuck, Meredith?” His sister had hit him in the arm, and, with her Lycan strength, it actually hurt. He rubbed the spot and gave Meredith a dirty look. “What the hell was that for?”

  “For being a fucking hypocrite!” she retorted.

  “What?”

  "You nearly killed Daric when you found out he was having sex with me, and now you're banging Evie and you haven't even taken her out on a date? What would her brother say?”

  “You need to romance her,” Quinn added. “Make her feel special.”

  “What in our entire history together makes you think I’m the type to do flowers and dinners and shit?” he asked Quinn.

  Meredith put her hands on her hips and gave him a challenging glare. "Connor, if you think she doesn't deserve any of that, then tell us now and we’ll tell her to turn around and never look back."

  Shit. "Aww, fuck." He couldn't deny it. Evie deserved to be treated like she was the most important thing in the world. He had desperately wanted to protect her by staying away, but he just couldn't stop himself. The battle raging inside him was too great, and he could only deal with one thing at a time.

  He wanted her bad and had just taken what he wanted. In any case, it was too late now. He’d already hurt her and needed to make it up to her first. He could figure it out later. “What do I need to do?”

  “Well, first, you go and ask her out. On a real date.”

  “How the fuck do I know what to do on a real date?”

  “Just go in there and ask her; I’ll take care of the rest,” Meredith urged. “Then you can romance the shit outta our girl!”

  “Our girl?” he asked, a sinking, suspicious feeling suddenly creeping up on him.

  “I mean your girl. Evie. You know what I mean!”

  "How exactly do I do that?" he asked. Aside from fighting, he didn't know much else. The few women he'd been with had always come onto him and wanted nothing more than a quick fuck. But he couldn't treat Evie like he had those other women.

  "Just be yourself," Meredith said. When Quinn snickered, she sent him a warning glare. "I mean just follow your instincts. You're a good person, Connor."

  "Be a gentleman on the streets but a wolf in the sheets," Quinn finished with a wink.

  "Maybe you should start over and do things the right way. Treat her like a lady," Killian insisted. "Take her to a nice meal, bring her home, but let her lead and decide what happens after.”

  “Fine.” He lumbered back to Killian’s office and yanked open the door. Evie and Selena were on the couch, talking softly. They both jerked their heads toward him when he entered.

  “I should go see if Quinn is okay,” Selena said, standing up. As she walked past Connor, she gave him a silent, warning glare.

  “Is everything all right?” Evie asked. “Did David Booth—”

  “We’re going out,” he stated, then kicked himself mentally when Evie frowned at him. “I mean, you and me.”

  “What?” she asked, her brows furrowing. “Out where?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, Meredith’s arranging it.”

  She stood and walked to him. “Meredith’s arranging what?”

  He swallowed as he looked down at her face. Why the fuck was this so hard? “Our date.”

  Evie’s eyes bulged. “Excuse me?”

  “I’m taking you out. On a date.”

  "Now? But I can't. I'm not dressed, and I should really take a shower and put on some makeup …"

  “Look, do you want to or not?” That sounded harsher than he wanted it to come out. “I mean, do you want to?”

  “I guess, but …” She gestured to her outfit.

  Connor scrutinized her. After their encounter in the shower, she put on a green dress with seahorses all over it. It was a tad too short for his comfort and showed off way too much skin, but he thought it was cute. Part of him hoped she chose it to match his eyes, which made something in him burst with pride. Plus, even now, he could still smell himself all over her, and it was turning him on. Shit, he needed to control himself. He was going to make this up to Evie and do it the right way, even if all he wanted to do was push that little dress up her luscious body and feast on her again.

  “You look fine. I mean, you look beautiful. Look,” he ran his fingers through his hair. “If you don’t want to go on a date, it’s fine—”

  “Yes!” she squeaked. “I mean, yes, I do want to go on a date. With you.”

  The tightness in his middle loosened. “Good. Now, let’s go."
>
  Chapter Thirteen

  Meredith arranged for a last-minute table for them at Muccino’s Italian Restaurant, which was just around the corner from the Lone Wolf office They walked there together, and Connor held her hand for the quick, five-minute stroll.

  As soon as they got there, they were escorted to a booth in the corner of the restaurant. Evie scooted into the middle of the seat and Connor followed. Even though the booth could seat about six people, Connor’s size made it seem crowded.

  Evie bit her lip. What was going on? Connor had asked her out on a date. Well, technically, he told her they were going out on a date. She stifled a laugh. It was awkward but nonetheless sweet. He even opened the door for her going into the restaurant. It wasn’t that she couldn’t imagine Connor as a gentleman, but she was still confused what this whole thing was about.

  "Would you like some wine? Appetizers?" the eager young waiter asked.

  “No wine, just some sparkling water, please,” she said. “But do you have any of that artichoke dip?” She looked at Connor. “If you don’t mind.”

  "Get the lady whatever she wants," Connor told the waiter. "Plus, we'll have whatever specials you’re making for the night. And I'll have your beer on tap."

  The waiter nodded. “All right, sir. I’ll get you started then.”

  And, so, they were alone. Despite the din of the restaurant, the silence between them was deafening. She still wasn’t sure what this was about. Well, at least she got a good meal out of it because she was starving.

  Mercifully, their waiter came back with their drinks. She took a sip of her water. Unable to bear the silence any longer, she decided to ask him some basic stuff—first date things you usually ask someone. "So … you like working at Lone Wolf? With your brothers?"

  “Yeah, I suppose.” He shrugged. “Quinn’s a pain in my ass sometimes, but I like being around all of them. It’s like old times.”

  “Old times?”

  “Yeah, before Archie—” He stopped short.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, looking down at her lap. “I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

  “It’s fine,” he said in a gruff voice.

  Okay, so maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Another topic, maybe? "Um, so how do you like New York?"

  “I don’t,” he answered, his voice brittle like glass. “Too noisy. Too cramped. Smells terrible in the summer.”

  She gave a weak laugh. "True, but the vibe here … it's so different." When Connor scowled, she fell silent again. Maybe this wasn't going to work. What were they supposed to talk about? Wasn't all this weirdness supposed to go away once they had sex? They were doing this all backward.

  Thankfully, the waiter arrived with the appetizers, and Evie busied herself practically demolishing the plate of artichoke dip and bread. She was nervous, for some reason, and eating gave her something to do. "Uh, sorry, did you want some?" She pushed the plate to him.

  “No, go ahead; I’ll wait for our food.”

  Oh God, she had turned him off with her monster appetite. She shrunk back. She was still hungry but thought it best to wait and put her hands on her lap.

  Connor frowned. “Now what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  He let out an impatient sigh. “If you’re hungry, just eat. I don’t give a f—care if you finish off your plate.”

  “I shouldn’t,” she said. “I have about ten pounds to lose and—”

  “Says who?”

  Her head snapped up at him. “Huh?”

  “Who says you need to lose ten pounds?”

  “Well, no one, but—”

  “Then eat up,” he pushed the plate back to her. “You’ve already gotten too skinny.”

  She laughed. “What do you mean too skinny? You don’t like my body?”

  “No,” he said quickly. “I like your body any way it is. But do you like you?”

  Aside from the fact that he said he liked her (well, her body anyway) his question made her stop. Did she? She always thought she needed to lose twenty pounds so she could finally get a starring role. All the other actresses on stage were thin and in shape. “I …”

  Before she could answer, their waiter arrived and put down two hot plates of delicious Italian food in front of them. She moaned as the scent made her stomach gurgle. Turning to Connor, she saw he was looking at her with a different kind of hunger on his face.

  They ate in silence, though it wasn’t as awkward as it had been. Connor watched her with hawk-like eyes, and she made sure to eat to her heart's content. He had also moved closer to her, their thighs pressing together in a delicious manner that had nothing to do with food. It was sensation overload—the scrumptious feast and Connor's nearness—and it made her insides go haywire. And his coffee scent … grrr … how could a man smell so insanely good to her? It was driving her crazy, and all she wanted to do was jump him right then and there.

  The meal wound down, and they finished off a plate of tiramisu and panna cotta. Evie tried to take out her wallet, but Connor insisted on paying, handing the waiter a wad of bills.

  “I’ll take you home now.”

  Evie felt irritation rise in her. She was confused, which only made her frustrated, which then turned into anger. What the hell was this about? He takes her out and then sends her away again? At least the last time she got some orgasms. The only thing she got now was about three thousand calories worth of food that'll be hell to get rid of. With an impatient grumble, she quickly slid out of the booth and dropped her napkin on the table.

  “Evie, what the—where are you going?” he called as she stormed away from the table.

  “Home,” she replied, without giving him a second glance. She barely made it out the door when he caught up to her and stepped in her path.

  “What did I do?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Shit,” he cursed. “I’m not good with women, but even I know that when you girls say nothing, it’s always something. How did I fuck up?”

  She sighed. “Look, maybe it’s too soon for this, but why don’t you want to sleep with me?” He blinked at her, confused. “I mean, sleep with me. Invite me to your place to spend the night?" He stood there, dumbfounded. "Never mind. Forget I asked." She sidestepped him and walked out into the street. It wasn't too late yet, and she could still take the subway home.

  "Evie, wait," Connor called. He caught up with her as she was making her way to the station. "Wait." He grabbed her gently by the arm.

  “What?”

  His jaw was tense. “It’s not that I don’t want to take you home, but …” He dropped his hands to the side and let out a frustrated grunt. “I can’t.”

  “I told you, it’s fine,” she said, trying not to sound disappointed.

  "Evie … I … I can't. I don't know if you would want to anyway."

  “What?” she asked. “What do you mean?”

  He stepped back. “Well, first of all, what happened in the dressing room shouldn’t have happened.”

  “Oh.” The bottom of her stomach dropped. He was regretting having sex with her.

  His eyes widened. “No, don’t think that way,” he said, as if reading her mind. “I mean, you deserve more. More than me. More than a fucked up Lycan with a wolf he can’t control. A Lycan who has no future.”

  Something in his words pricked at her. “What are you saying, Connor?”

  His expression changed as if he had said too much. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

  “Connor,” she said in a calm voice. She put her hand on his arm when he tried to turn away. “Please, tell me what’s going on.”

  A low growl tore from his throat. “I …You’ve spent time with Lycans, right?”

  She nodded. “All my life.”

  “You know that Lycans have animals inside of us, as part of us.”

  “Yes.”

  “Mine is different. It’s not a part of me. I mean, it is, but it’s separate.”

  “I don’t understand. But,” she moved clo
ser. “I want to.”

  Connor let out another growl. "The wolf … it always wants to take over. And sometimes I let it. I can usually get control back, but lately, since Archie … when I let him die and failed to protect my family, it's been unmanageable. Each time I shift, it takes me longer and longer to come back."

  Evie gasped. That wasn’t how it worked. The human side was always supposed to be in control. If they weren’t, well … “How long?”

  "It used to be hours … now, sometimes it's an entire day." His hands clenched into fists at his sides. "And, sometimes, I'll wake up in the middle of the night and I'm naked, lying in the middle of the living room with no idea what happened. The couch and the curtains will be ripped up …" He shook his head. "I'm losing control, Evie. Even in my sleep. I'm no good for you—"

  “Stop,” she cried, putting her hands on his chest. “Don’t say that.”

  “It’s true,” he replied, gently prying her hands away. “I could lose control at any moment. There is no future with me, can’t you see? Do you know what happens to Lycans who can’t control their wolves?”

  She jerked her head back, and her spine went stiff. "No. You can't mean that …"

  "That's the way it is," he said. "Grant Anderson will put me down if I ever become a threat to his clan or to humans. He won't risk exposing our secret."

  “No,” she protested. Her hands moved up to the sides of his face. “No, no. You can’t mean that.”

  “It’s what needs to happen.” His lips thinned. “But not before I get my revenge.”

  “Against the man who put you in that place?”

  He nodded. “Fuck Lycan law. I’m going to find him and then kill him. I’ll let the feral wolf inside me loose one last time and—”

  Desperation had built up in her chest, and Evie did the only thing she could think of to stop him. She pulled him down for a kiss, crushing his lips to hers. He seemed taken aback at first but responded quickly. He took charge, slowing down the desperation and turning it into a slow caress. Arms wound around her, pressing her close so she could feel every hard plane of his body.

  "Evie," he whispered against her mouth. His eyes were closed, and he touched his forehead to hers.